I used to hate the term “Cougar” for all the obvious reasons. Flash forward to leopard clad women over 40 voguing in 4 inch stilettos, showing way too much cleavage, hanging out at pubs, guzzling wine and pulling home youthful prey. Every time the media interviewed me, I cringed, understanding the obvious questions would be asked: “Is Not this just about sex?” “Isn’t this just about cash?” I strove to explain to them that in my 20 years of research as a human behavior research shrink and world’s foremost authority on cross generational dating and psychosexual imprinting (translation: Cougar and Cub dating) that they had it all wrong. The media is promoting what I coined “The Myth of Stiffler’s Mom” as in the movie American Pie. Stiffler’s mother seduces a young man, yet he isn’t the 6 pack ab, GQ version kind. He is mature for his age, a sensible. He gets in her head before he gets in her bed. The younger men and the media who think the younger man/single cougar women relationship is about sex or cash have never been in a relationship with an elderly girl. They’d understand the truth if they had.
The facts are fairly easy, as this is a demographic of individuals I have studied formally for over 20 years, and I say these with a good deal of conviction. If you’re knowledgeable about the bell shaped curve, it is possible to see that the bell shaped curve can be placed on just about anything in life. Let us plot out the younger man mature girl dynamic on it and see what we find: In the mid section of the curve we’ve most of the elderly women. “Single cougar women” can be considered any girl in her 20’s and older who date younger guys. Nearly all these women who fall in the mid segment of the curve are ages 40-50. Girls in their 20’s are Kittens. Kittens and pumas fall outside the center of the bell shaped curve. Let’s say they are 1 standard deviation to the left of the midsection, from the Mean. Single cougar women and their 60’s are Panthers. Let us set them to the right of the middle of the bell. There are fewer Kittens, Pumas and Panthers than there are single cougar women; but for the sake of argument, they’re all “Cougars.”
What exactly is single cougar women? Many women take offense to the moniker, as did I, based upon motives I have given previously. For using the word in research and my posts people really get furious with me. Do not shoot the messenger. I failed to coin the word and I did not label it. They’re the people who need to make single cougar women appear to be neurotic, caricaturist, boy crazy, wackadoos.
I really had a viceral reaction every time I heard the word mentioned, read it in an article or saw my fingers typing it onto my computer screen.
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